Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How to Screw Up Your Resume

Want to know how to make a resume that will totally turn off your prospective employer?

1. Be sure not to spell check.

2. Have a bunch of unexplained gaps in your work history. Prospective employers like to see that you were doing something during a work absence, like volunteer work, stay-at-home parenting, schooling. So, if you don't want the job, just make it seem like you were at home watching Law & Order reruns all day long.

3. Put in a bunch of personal hobbies and interests. Employers hate that. Especially when the hobbies have nothing to do with your career.

4. Include personal attributes or photographs. Unless you're applying as a model or entertainer, employers don't need to see your photo. And, most don't want to.

5. Print your resume with fancy fonts, or print it on lime green paper. Employers like easy to read fonts on white or neutral paper, which makes it easier to read. So, if you don't want the job, use some fancy script that looks like it's a poster for the Renaissance Fair.

6. Put in a bunch of very outdated information. Face it, if you're over 30, you don't really need to put in the name of your high school. And, if you have some obsolete skills, such as your Wang word processing skills, leave it off, unless, of course, you want to annoy a prospective employer with meaningless information they have to read through.


andrewg8189 said...

I screwed up my resume about 40 times trying to change from accounting to marketing..
I finally gave in [even though my wife didn't want me to...!]---and hired a service.. There was--as far as I could find--only one service online specializing in career change resumes:
www.career-change-resumes.com [gee, appropriately named; D]
They did a pretty good job for me--and I've since gotten hired, changed careers, am happy--and, hehe, my wife admits I was "right" [for once!]..

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